PENIS also VAGINA
Update: I’ve added few more comments to this post. New stuff is after the first big quote.
“Rejoice, parents of Southern California! Your classrooms are now free of…dictionaries.” anigbrowl informs Metafilter in this post. Mathowie notes that it’s “it’s one crazy ass (conservative, mostly christian) school district in a sparsely populated town” banning them, claiming that the dictionary’s definition for oral sex was too sexually graphic.
“How will the children ever learn about oral stimulation of the genitals now!?” asks ExitPursuedByBear “I’ll have to send mine to an after school program.”
onhazier puts Bear’s fears to rest:
ExitPursuedByBear, no need to send your kid to an after school program. Just make sure your child is in a class with mine and mine will explain it all. I loved getting that phone call.
“Mrs. S… Your child described reproduction to another child today and used the words ‘penis’ and ‘vagina’…”
“Ok. What’s the problem?”
“Your child described reproduction today and used the words ‘penis’ and ‘vagina’…”
“And…?”
“The parents of the child your son spoke to are upset because they’ve not yet taught those words to their child and want to know how your child knows them.”
“He knows them because we taught him.”
“Mrs. S, your son is only five!”
“And?”
“Don’t you think that’s too young?”
“No. I don’t. I want him to understand about his body. Did he get it right?”
“Yes.”
“Great! Thank you for calling.”
Please keep in mind that the other child was a couple of years older than my kiddo and the conversation occurred on the playground. The other kid thought mine was telling lies and using bad words. (#)
Later in the thread Lutoslawski adds another quite good story:
My freshman year in college I had a roommate, let’s call him Dave. Dave was from a distant country and had been very sheltered his entire life (despite the fact that his father was a gynecologist). About a month into the school year, he comes into the room and asks me with a very straight face, “what is masturbation? I heard this word today. I don’t know what it is!” I stared at him blankly, and then handed him my copy of the [Oxford English Dictionary] (I was not about to give my new roommate ‘the talk’).
About a month later, I walk into the room and he says, “I’ve been masturbating much lately! But I’m trying to eat less meat so I don’t masturbate so much.”
Moral of the story: even the best dictionaries cannot teach children what only experience can. (#)
Another topic in this post’s comments is the definition of oral sex that was too explicit for this school district. The dictionary defined it as “oral stimulation of the genitals.”
quin takes that definition in an interesting direction:
You know, without context, “oral” can be in opposition to “written”, which is why am I picturing literal minded children who see this, and only this definition doing it all wrong by engaging in oral sex thusly;
[shouting at penis]
WAKE UP! THERE IS EXCITING STUFF GOING ON! YOU SHOULD CHECK THIS OUT! (#)
HAY READERS, THERE IS FUNNY THINGS BEING POSTED, LAUGHH
